Chop Kick Panda (2011)

This week turned out a whole lot different than I expected.  The ideal situation was that I would have seen Fifty Shades of Black close to the beginning of the week, written about it, and had the post already done.  Alas, things don’t always work out in the perfect way.  I still haven’t seen Fifty Shades of Black while I’m writing this and I don’t know when I’m going to see it.  The movie of the week had to be changed mid-week to accommodate the difficulties I was having.  When all was said and done, I had watched the 41 minute animated flick, Chop Kick Panda.

Chop Kick Panda is a direct-to-video animated film from 2011.  It runs only 41 minutes long and was meant as a way to make a quick buck off of Kung Fu Panda.  You never would have guessed that, would you?  Zibo (Danny Katiana) is a panda who works as a janitor at Grand Master Hanh’s (Phil Lollar) dojo.  His main job is to mop the floor because that place probably gets super sweaty.  When Hanh’s evil brother Slade (also Danny Katiana) wants to take an amulet away, Zibo is the only person who can stop the evil deed.  Oh, and Zibo’s son Ming (Michael Van Citters) is visiting the dojo with his classmates.

Normally, especially lately, I would have an idea that I would base this post around.  This week, I don’t have that.  It could be because of the fact that I saw the movie late, compared to when I usually watch it.  It could be because any idea I have has been covered.  Or it could be that I want to compare it to Kung Fu Panda but I haven’t seen that in years.  Whatever the reasoning, I don’t have a strong enough concept to build this week’s post around.  That means that I’m going to revert to an idea that I can depend upon when I am in need.  No, not a full out review.  Let’s talk about some of the stranger moments of Chop Kick Panda.  Five?  Yeah.  I’m going to list five of the standout parts of Chop Kick Panda and write about why they stand out.

The Monkey

My favourite part of Chop Kick Panda was undoubtedly the monkey character.  One of the classmates that Ming brings along to the dojo is a monkey.  Every character is some type of animal.  I don’t remember the monkey’s name so I’m going to just call him the monkey.  He’s a silent character who gets used for the most comedic bits of the entire movie.  He also lends a hand in saving the day, and is indirectly the Robin to Zibo’s Batman.  If Zibo was to be the caped crusader.

His hero moment is foreshadowed early in the movie when Zibo is challenging the monkey to take rocks from his hand.  The monkey manages to do that with super speed, regardless of how many rocks Zibo puts in his hand.  One rock, the monkey gets it.  Two rocks, the monkey gets it.  A pile of rocks, the monkey gets it.  He does it with such speed that it doesn’t look like he moves at all.  Near the end of the movie, Slade has the medallion.  He overhears the kids talking about distracting him and stealing the medallion back.  Then the monkey manages to actually do it without moving.  He’s either magic or super quick.  Either way, he was fun to watch.  He also led to my next point, the most outlandish joke in the entire movie.

The Joke

Chop Kick Panda is a comedy for children.  It is filled to the brim with juvenile jokes meant to have kids laughing for a long time.  I smiled through most of the movie, enjoying the dumb humour throughout.  But there was one joke that topped all of the other jokes.  This single moment of pure, absurd jocularity made be break out in a laughing fit.  My brother was sitting in the room with me, staring at me like I was insane.  I couldn’t help it.  It was such a ludicrous joke that I broke.

Here it is.  So you have the four children in the dojo.  They are staying the night, so they’ve all gotten into their sleeping bags.  As they are falling asleep, Ming turns to Shiva (Alicyn Packard), the girl he has a crush on.  Remember they’re animals though, not actual people.  He talks to her for a bit and blushes.  It is meant to be a relationship building moment.  All of a sudden there is the sound of a loud, wet fart.  The “camera” pans down to the monkey poking his head out of his sleeping bag while wearing a gas mask.  Thick, green fumes are wafting out.  He waves his hand and directs them over to Rex (Alicyn Packard again), waking him up in a cloud of stink.  I don’t know what it is about that, but I was laughing hysterically.

Star Wars

Yes.  I’m going to talk a little bit about the story from long ago in a galaxy far, far away.  We all know about the Star Wars movies.  If you’re reading this, there is a 99.99% chance you’ve seen them.  Because why would you be spending your time on this instead of watching them for that first time?  Well, there are Star Wars references in Chop Kick Panda.  The franchise exists in their world.  I don’t know if it’s the same version that we know or a version acted by bipedal animals.  All I know is that it exists in their universe.

They reference Star Wars twice in Chop Kick Panda.  The first reference comes when Grand Master Hanh and Slade are fighting.  Hanh says an Obi-Wan Kenobi line that Slade mistakenly attributes to Yoda.  Slade then says he doesn’t care if it was Jar-Jar Pickles that said it.  After another correction, he says he doesn’t care about Jar-Jar, to which Hanh says Jar-Jar wasn’t his favourite character either.  The second reference is when Zibo says he’ll try to do his best.  Hanh responds with the famous Yoda quote “Do or do not, there is no try.”  Why?  I have no idea.  These references don’t make a whole lot of sense to me from a world building point of view.

The Animation

You will surely see an image at the end of this post that showcases the animation of Chop Kick Panda.  It will probably have as many of the characters as possible in the single shot since I always try to do that.  In there will be the monkey character that I love so much.  But the thing you will notice is that the animation resembles something that you would see from Nickelodeon.  Perhaps it’s not exactly the same as that.  It does feel like it would fit in among the late 90s, early 00s Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network boom though.

The Ending

Yes, I am going to discuss the ending to Chop Kick Panda right now.  If you don’t want to be spoiled on Chop Kick Panda, look away because this is going to be about the resolution and the final few minutes of the 41 minute film.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  This is your warning.

In the end, good triumphs over evil.  That’s what happens in movies, especially in children’s movies like Chop Kick Panda.  Zibo found out that the ability to master martial arts was in him the entire time.  Hanh even says that Zibo could be a Grand Master someday.  It’s the kind of ending that ties everything up in a nice, little bow.  But then some weird stuff happens.  All of a sudden, Zibo is a Grand Master.  Then the narration changes from a strong, adult voice to what I think was Ming’s voice.  Cut to credits.  I don’t quite understand the change in voice that happened.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and it is what we are left to think back on.  Children probably don’t care when they’re watching the movie about who is doing the narration.  I do, however, and I can’t grasp what was going on with it.  Can Ming put on an adult voice, or was it future Ming transitioning into present Ming?  If it was the latter, that makes no sense.  Why not just have the whole thing be child Ming’s narration?  If it was the former… That’s just weird.  Either way, I am baffled by how Chop Kick Panda ends.

Chop Kick Panda ended up being one of the better animated rip-offs I’ve seen.  Having previously seen A Car’s Life, An Ant’s Life, and Tappy Toes for the Sunday “Bad” Movies, I’d put this one in the upper half.  Two of those movies are definitely a lot worse than this one.  It has a solid story, decent voice acting, and the animation isn’t bad in any way.  If any of the things I have mentioned in this post got you interested in any way, you might want to seek it out.  I got it for a dollar on DVD and don’t regret that purchase at all.  41 minutes that made me laugh is well worth the dollar.  Would you buy that for a dollar?

Now for some notes:

• I mentioned three other animated rip-offs near the end of this post.  Here are their posts.  A Car’s Life.  Tappy Toes.  An Ant’s Life.
• I also mentioned Star Wars in this post, so I’m going to link you guys to my post for Starcrash, a Star Wars rip-off.
• Director Darrell Van Citters also directed Tappy Toes.
• Chop Kick Panda featured two voice actors from Tappy Toes: Danny Katiana and Phil Lollar.
• Have you seen Chop Kick Panda?  What did you think about it?  You can discuss the movie in the comments section below.
• Are there any movies that you can think of that I should watch for the Sunday “Bad” Movies?  You can tell me on Twitter or in the comments section.  I’m always open to suggestions.
• Next week’s movie is Valentine’s Day in honour of Valentine’s Day since the post will drop on Valentine’s Day.  It’ll be an interesting one, I think.  Once again, it’s a movie I haven’t seen before.  But I did watch its spiritual sequel New Year’s Eve a couple years ago.  It has a big cast of recognizable people, many of whom have already been featured in the Sunday “Bad” Movies.  Come back next week to find out who, and to read my thoughts on the movie or a topic related to it.